Sunday, March 25, 2007
Feeling helpless and lonely in the middle of the night =(
My feelings are all mixed up. I feel sho helpless and lonely. Urging to talk to someone. Tat someone i get to noe online. He really noe wat im thinking or even wat im trying to say. He just understand. Maybe older guys can understand more? Maybe tats one of the point why i prefer older guys. =xIm feeling as if i've lost something. But i don noe wat exactly it is. And im starting to miss lotsa things. Things tat i cant possibly get back. I miss my friends. My primary school friends, my secondary schood friends and my poly friends. Especially Jp and weilun. Wonder how are they doing at Laos. Hope everthing is fine and they are safe. I miss the days when i play with silly, Ryan,guildmates and pie. The days when i laugh like mad in sec sch. Disturbing friends,sitting in a circle and play together. Sho much fun i've lost and the laughter. It has been such a long long time when i really laugh out loud. I miss the feeling too.
Talked to my bestest friend in sec sch. It just feel like we just noe each other. A feeling of being very far apart. I feel lonely..
I need someone who can listen to me. Anyone.. anyone will do.. but who can? Can tat somebody bring me out of this darken and scary pit? please?
Now i really wonder wats happiness? Wat give us happiness? Wat actually is happiness?
I find everything boring. Nothing interesting me. Cant believe tat i could stare at the tv with some boring show. Can anyone bring back the old Sindy? the old Thistle? Bring back the smile she used to have. Im like a body without soul.
My colours have come to an end.
My world is dying, its perishing and its turning the other way round...
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